"Only when the clamor of the outside world is silenced will you be able to hear the deeper vibration.
Listen carefully." ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

I wander outside this morning, needing a break from the usual routine of things. It feels good to be sitting amongst the trees, finally able to bring my mind around to things other than work, finances, and the zillion other worries sprinting laps around this monkey mind of mine.

A Hawk cries straight overhead, snapping my attention into the Now. I'm in awe at the bird's broad wingspan and mottled coloring just over the treetops above me. For a moment I find relief from my racing mind in the majestic beauty of this beautiful creature. It's a much needed reminder to live consciously.

Inner peace is impossible when the mind runs rampant with worries, anxieties, control, impatience and intolerance. These things create a block between us and the Universal Oneness. Busy-ness and the drive for constant activity are powerful tools of the mind which create the futile illusion of control, and the reality of frustration.

This morning, I'm seeing myself as the Hawk does, finally able to step outside my "bubble" world.

I sit with the awareness of my emotional attachment to my monkey mind. What has my life come to? It's been comfortable and familiar, these rushing whirlwind thoughts. In a mindless drone of automatic reactions, I've created a convenient armor for myself, made of attachment to people, things and ideas. I've held onto the illusion that they change who I am, my sense of worth. They've provided a diversion from reality, an escape from responsibility.

These illusions have given me a sense of power over my life. Or so I thought. Reality is that the things I've driven myself to tighten my grasp on invariably slip away like a bar of soap.

I've held on tighter and tighter, yet never seemed to have control. I've been lost in this incessant need for power and the need to be right. My resistance to letting go comes from a place of being familiar in chaos, though I've known somewhere deep inside that my choice to stay in this self-imposed hamster-wheel life is leading me down a path of destruction. I've known there is something better, yet still hold onto my old ideas, afraid to step outside the box of the known. I've been raping my soul, crushing my spirit, cheating myself of growth.

I've had so many important things to think about, plans to make, things to do. I've become wrapped up in them for a few months, and now I'm beginning to feel the wrath of untended spiritual needs in my life. It's been a gradual process really. My life has normally been a peaceful one for several years now. I wonder when and how I began letting my inner peace slip away?

This struggle takes too much energy. I'm too tired to live that way anymore. I'm tired.

Suddenly, all in one "Aha!" moment, with strong flapping of wings above me, I'm pounded back into the moment - my perspective changes and my spirit awakens. In a moment of softness and willingness, I become completely teachable. I realize how much is out there to see, experience and learn, and how much I've been blocking myself to this Truth.

The world opens up. Rather, I open up to the world! Letting go is the answer, done with the knowledge of clearing away the old to make room for new-ness.

While I watch the Hawk circling above, the wind picks up and I find myself breathing in clean air. I am feeling the door of release opening inside me. I breathe in refreshing morning energy, softening and allowing in the morning sun. For the first time in a long time, I allow willingness and openness to replace the familiar anxiety and tension within me.

Timidly, I ask myself, "How comfortable are you with simply BE-ing?". I haven't been comfortable at all lately. I've been losing myself. Monkey mind.

I long to be peaceful again, like the hawk soaring above. The cool air on my skin awakens my passion for life.

Living consciously and peacefully is a choice of both inner and outward lifestyle. We create our own reality. This begins with mindfulness on the present. Pay attention to Now. Slow the mind. Sit motionless in absolute quiet. Breathe. Just BE. There is nothing else. All I've got is this moment, right here and now. It is a powerful moment. This moment is the only time in my life that I have the power and opportunity for change - Now.

A life of peacefulness takes courage. It begins within. Do I have the courage to be vulnerable? Do I have the courage to live with an open heart? Open mind? Open body?

I choose to return to the centre, remembering my place within the realm of the Universal Oneness, feeling the connectedness with all around me. I embrace abundance and welcome it! I focus on strength in the togetherness of body, mind and spirit, allowing all to flow in one beautiful, swaying, complete lifetime of motion... the interconnectedness and power of Be-ing. I feel the joy, searching and hungry for spirit nourishment again.

I watch the hawk rise on a lift and soar to greater heights on the increasing wind. My soul rises with him in blissful freedom. Ah, energy and vibrance within! My heart is filled!

No more monkey mind. Only inner peace.

Renée Deakin's personal journey of growth and discovery has taken her to teach, work and live in several locations across North America. Currently residing in the woods in a remote area of Vancouver Island, Renée has devoted her life work to helping others find harmony and balance in their daily lives through connecting with their intuition. http://www.spiritcircle.ca